yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
