marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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