I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
