At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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