i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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