i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm really busy with my period
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