pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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