your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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