i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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