I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
