i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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