I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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