my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Your cock deserves a montage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
