I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
