I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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