Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
