life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize