I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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