So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
