Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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