I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
