Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
