I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize