Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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