Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
...so i touched it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
whose parrot is this?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
