i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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