I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she smelled like a LAN party
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
