He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
