Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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