i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
