shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
