"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
