Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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