Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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