Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
