There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
