turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
