I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
