I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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