that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
