Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she told me i tasted like america
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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