The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
