When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
