Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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