she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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