Got a toothbrush?
Do vagina's smell?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
