my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
