How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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