just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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