can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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