ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
