just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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