im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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