I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
