It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
