If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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