every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
